Martinis & Miles

I am a self-proclaimed sugar addict but the only steps I’m into is how many to the bakery door.  I like to say that I am on the Future Diabetes Tour of America with this blog.

Miami is a town of excess, and the donuts here are no exception.  There is a silent war being fought by each shop for who has the best and most outrageous donut.  This is one instance in which I am just happy to be a casualty on the battlefield.

Here I channel my inner Homer Simpson and attempt to rate the best donut shops, and give my opinion based on a few factors 1) taste (of course) 2) presentation (does it look amazing too?) 3) variety of flavors or novel flavors available and selection 4) the “It Factor.”  Each shop is rated in each category 1-10, with 10 being the highest score- much like my blood sugar now.

The shops I tried and am reviewing are Federal Donuts, Mojo Donuts, and The Salty Donut.

Federal Donuts – They are located on the outskirts of the Wynwood neighborhood, not far from the Performing Arts center.  They are originally out of Philadelphia and have opened an outpost here. Their market is fried chicken and donuts. Yes you read that correctly. I’ve lived in the South for many years and chicken and waffles is definitely a thing, but I have never heard of chicken and donuts.  I went in about 10 on Monday morning and there were 6 flavors, some pretty interesting like guava and poppyseed, blueberry, and pomegranate.  Fried chicken was not ready otherwise I doubtless would have walked out with an order of that too. I have no willpower. They flavors were interesting, and you can tell they were made with fresh ingredients.  However, they were all cake donuts, not the traditional “fluffy” kind that are generally fried.  The flavors the did have were good, but they needed more. The name is Federal Donuts, but it seemed like the chicken was a bigger draw.

Ratings-

1) Taste: 6/10

2) Presentation: 4/10

3) Variety: 5/10

4) The “It Factor” : 6/10

Total: 21/40

Favorite Donut: Pomegranate (although all the ones on their online menu were not available the day I went)

Mojo Donuts – They are a Miami company with two locations, South Miami and Pembroke Pines.  They are the farthest away from traditional tourist areas. I walked into Mojo Donuts and was immediately visually stunned.  Every donut was work of art and visually stunning.  I could not stop taking photos.  They had probably 24 flavors all crazy and fun.  One was flavored like sour patch kids, one was tutti fruity and had fruity pebbles over pink icing, one was an Art Deco creation that looked more like a mini cake with filling and berries.

1) Taste: 7/10

2) Presentation: 10/10

3) Variety: 10/10

4) The “It factor” : 6/10 (mostly because the staff was not very friendly and acted like it was a huge imposition to get the donuts for me)

Total: 33/40

Favorite Donut: Sour Patch Kids closely followed by the Art Deco

The Salty Donut This donut stronghold is also located in Miami’s hip Wynwood neighborhood with fantastically colored murals on every building. They have a strong cult following for their donuts and their coffee.  In addition to the donuts, they have donut holes with infusions, and lattes made with “cereal milk.”  I ordered a latte made with milk steeped in the Cinnamon Toast Crunch.  What an amazing idea!  I totally want to try this at home- have a feeling it won’t be as good though. They had 11 flavors on this day, all very pretty and one of each went home with me.  They also had chocolate cake donut holes with different infusions, one a berry and one a bourbon vanilla. Booze and sugar?!  I swear I heard angels singing… When I got home, I immediately started tasting.  They flavors were ridiculous and amazing, white chocolate tres leches, Peaches and Brie, Nutella…However beware, they are quite expensive.  When I got home, I got to tasting.  I have to say, honestly, the white chocolate tres leaches is the best donut I have ever had.  The Strawberry Shortcake might be the second best.  Foodgasms are real.

1) Taste: 10/10 (probably deserves more like a 42 but 10 is the highest)

2) Presentation: 9/10

3) Variety: 9/ 10

4) “It Factor” : 9/10

Total: 37/40

Favorite Donut: The White Chocolate Tres Leches

Winner: The Salty Donut. In Miami’s donut wars they emerged victorious on the field of battle. However, the only real loser here was me, and I now don’t fit into anything but stretchy yoga pants.